It is easy to find joy in the birth of your children, your wedding day, Christmas morning, your work, surrounded by friends and family. But what about when you have lost a loved one, are in the throes of anxiety and depression, are experiencing financial difficulties, and uncertainty. Where is the joy? It is in these moments we have questioned God the most. Why would He let this happen to me? He can just make it all go away if he wants to. Why trust someone who just let this happen?
A few years ago, when I found myself battling anxiety and depression like never before, I started asking the same questions. I could not understand why I felt so alone, so trapped, even though physically I was not. I had great friends, a family I loved, a supportive husband, a wonderful job, a wonderful church family. Why was I so down, sad, and scared? I went to church every week, Bible studies, kept a prayer journal. Wasn’t I doing all the right things? Why was I being punished?
I bet Job asked the same questions when his whole life was taken from him in an instant. Or the woman who had the issue with bleeding, who had been seen as an outcast and shunned from her people all because of a sickness she could not help. What about Paul and the number of times he was shipwrecked, thrown into prison, and beaten, all for preaching and spreading the good news of Jesus. I am sure they wondered and asked why these unfortunate things were happening, but you know what they all have in common? Their unwavering faith. What faith Job had to not curse God when he lost everything, the woman so determined to fight a crowd of people who dissociated with her so she could touch Jesus’ robe, Paul as he continued to sing, praise God, and encourage the people he ministered to. How did they keep such faith, spirit, and determination?
One of my favorite books of the Bible is the book of James. There is a passage that reads, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4 ESV) Did I read that correctly? James wants us to see our trials as opportunities for joy. When I was deep in my depression and anxiety battle, the most difficult thing was seeing any positive, much less joy. I closed myself off from talking about it with friends and family. I was ashamed and talking about it made it more real. It took several months, but once I sat down and spoke the words aloud, that is when the healing began. Be it ever so slightly. It would take a lot of vulnerable conversations and honesty to begin finding myself again.
When I think about Job, the woman with the bleeding disorder, and Paul, they became vulnerable and spoke honestly about their trials, their emotions, and feelings. But at the end of the day, they remembered whose they were and knew they were called to a greater purpose. Job was blessed even more richly than before because of his steadfast faith, the woman with the bleeding found true healing, and Paul spread the gospel to the world and became one of the greatest spiritual leaders. It is because of their trials and hardships that made them into the men and women of faith they are today. If it wasn’t for the anxiety and depression I dealt with and sometimes still battle, I wouldn’t be able to empathize with those in the same boat or be able to adequately show my daughter what it’s like to not let “the spiritual forces of evil” (Ephesians 6:12) get you down. I can teach her how to rise about them, stand firm and strong, and be confident in the work God has called us to.
So “count it all joy” when the unknown and unpredictable darken your world. Remain true to the faith and come out stronger on the other side. It will all be worth it in the end.
