Everywhere we look, we’re told we have to do something big to make a difference. We’re expected to make bold, loud statements that shout to the world what we’ve done and how successful we are. It’s enough to make anyone want to stand down—especially when they’re not seeing big results, not being acknowledged, or even seen. But it’s in the stillness, the quiet, where a small step forward can make the biggest impact.
When I was struggling with the darkness of anxiety and depression, it was all I could do to move forward each day. I was in the beginning of my dietetic internship—which I had quit working to pursue—and was commuting into a busy city to the hospital I was assigned to. I dreaded the drive every single day, especially in the mornings when my anxiety was at its peak and almost unbearable. I faced panic attacks during the drive, and the worst part was that I hadn’t told anyone about my struggles. I went about each day alone, trapped in my own racing thoughts.
Once I opened up to my husband, it was like a weight lifted—though I also felt exposed and vulnerable. Of course, he met me with nothing but love and encouragement. After sharing with him, I opened up to my mom and sister. Together, we came up with strategies to help with my driving anxiety. I would call one of them each morning and talk all the way there. It helped distract my mind in the moment. I still had a long way to go, but it was a step in the right direction.
The longer I struggled, the more baby steps I took toward healing. I saw my doctor because I feared I was having heart problems, when in reality, it was just stress and anxiety causing muscle tension and a racing heart. I was prescribed medication to take as needed during panic attacks. I was terrified to use it and carried it around for months before finally deciding to give it a try. Unfortunately, it made me nauseous, and my husband had to pick me up from work and take me home. I never took it again—and didn’t ask for a different option at that time either.
Eventually, I opened up to close friends at church for prayer and began seeking counseling to help with my anxiety. I was anxious about taking these steps, but each one made me feel ever so slightly less overwhelmed.
Through continued conversations with friends and counseling, I improved little by little. I still dealt with high anxiety while driving and had trouble sleeping, which only worsened the anxiety in the mornings. I took mental health days from work because I felt weighed down by anxiety’s grip.
Later, I saw my doctor again and was prescribed a new anti-anxiety medication. I took it for about a month but didn’t notice any improvement. At the same time, we were trying to start a family, so I consulted my OB/GYN. They recommended a different medication, which I switched to and have stayed on ever since. It’s been a little over two years now. I started with half a pill for the first year, and after experiencing postpartum anxiety following the birth of my daughter, I increased to a full pill. I’ve stayed at that dose for another year, and it has made such a huge difference.
I struggled with the idea of taking anti-anxiety medication for a long time because I believed I should be able to overcome it on my own. I thought if I just prayed harder, read more, and spent more quiet time with God, I could beat it. And while those practices are beautiful and absolutely helpful—for anxiety and for life in general—I had to face the fact that something was chemically off for me. To be my best self for my family, especially my daughter as I stayed home with her, I had to try every option available. I couldn’t be more thankful for the doctors and resources that helped me heal.
My panic attacks and heightened anxiety began in 2022, and now, more than three years later, I’m amazed by the progress I’ve made. I’m not completely free from anxiety—it’s something I have to work at every day. I try to fill my mind with positivity: listening to Christian music, journaling, spending time in prayer, and staying in the Word. Each little step has led to big results. It’s not an overnight transformation—it takes consistent effort and unwavering determination.
But God never said our faith had to be as big as Mount Everest.
“Faith as small as a mustard seed—you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” (Matthew 17:20)
